putters. The on-putter in fact is one of the most flagrant destroyers of human relationships. He is dishonestly and inappropriately "nice" at the wrong times, and he is consistently and inappropriately angry nearly all the rest of the time —inevitably putting a great strain on all his relationships, often to the point of utter destruction. Dreams can be a form of poison. This is true for individuals whose sole angry outlet is dreams and who continually have dreams that are slushladen. Dreams are exceedingly complicated psychological manifestations, and their interpretation is a complex business. Many volumes have been written on the subject, and the last word is far from said. All psychoanalysts agree, however, that a dream can be meaningful only in the terms of the dreamer himself. This means that it is necessary to know the history of the dreamer and the particular and individual meaning of his particular symbols (the words and pictures that appear in his dreams). We must approach any kind of generalization or general symbol-meaning with great care. Every analyst, however, is aware that certain kinds of dreams appear again and again in people with

Ross is one of literature's great heroes . . . [with] elements of Darcy, Heathcliff, Rhett Butler and Robin Hood isn't he letting his listeners in on confidential, secret, and potentially destructive information? He is not only sharing great treasures with them but is also providing them with entertainment through stimulation and excitement. Isn't he giving them material to pique the imagination? For this he expects to be liked and admired. This puts him ( h e thinks) in a position of power and prestige. So he feels that he can have his cake and eat it, too. He has discovered the perfect comprehensive stratagem: just quietly slip into loose, easy talk and he can give vent to slush, be liked, and achieve social power. All these effects exist only in his own imagination. Gossip, much like envy and jealousy, exacts its corrosive toll on the easy talker and his relationships. People, especially healthy ones, do not exactly become endeared to gossips. Indeed, relationships with mature people are inevitably destroyed by easy talk. bage that one hardly feels the knife as it slips between the ribs. I remember one woman who talked and talked and talked about all manner of things. In the middle of each verbal barrage, however, she always stealthily managed to twist the talk to the subject of husbands' deaths, widowhood, and insurance. She simply could not understand why her husband got irritated— even though he was still very much alive. Another kind of sneak speaker who may be relatively quiet most of the time is the individual who always manages to find the one flaw in a plan, painting, party, situation, ambition, and so on. He does this as a sneak expression of poison, but when confronted with his wetblanket effect, he will invariably tell you that he speaks as he does only for the sake of constructive truth. He will never admit his angry intent. How can he when he has a neurotic interest in not ever being angry, let alone sadistic? I call these sneaks the "but people." Here are some of their typical statements: "That dress is nice, but it would be nicer if you lost weight." "I love your apartment, but isn't it a little dark?" "That's a great idea you have, but do you think you are really up to it?" Of course they feel that others' anger at themA great deal of emotional slush is constantly being twisted into anxiety. Anxiety is derived from many sources—emotional conflicts, hurt pride, loss of self-esteem, and so on, but much of it is derived directly from the slush bank. Indeed, it is my belief that the slush bank provides the principal fuel of anxiety-producing machinery. Anxiety itself is a highly complicated subject on which many papers and books have been written. It is not our purpose to write another one here. However, anxiety as the almost inseparable and sometimes indistinguishable blood brother of perverted anger (slush) is certainly a major poison and therefore deserving of our attention. Slush can be twisted into anxiety that is then felt as primitive anxiety in its raw form. Or slush To four of my friends and colleagues: Jerome Fass, M.D. Bella Van Bark, M.D. Harvey Kaye, M.D. Bernard Spector, M.D, Beginnings In this section I want to describe some general considerations as well as some of the beginnings or origins of angry troubles. The Anger Workbook for Women: How to Keep Your Anger from Undermining Your Self-Esteem, Your Emotional Balance, and Your Relationships In this chapter Im not talking about being a little tired. I'm talking about a special psychosomatic effect of slush. This is chronic, severe fatigue. The victim of this poison does not suffer from anemia or any other kind of chemical imbalance. People with this poison are always very tired because they use their entire bodies to ward off anger or any show of it. They go about in a chronic state of great nervous and muscular tension. In effect, they use their bodies much more than anyone else does. They don't know that they are doing this, but nevertheless they are under constant physical pressure. It is as if they have routed all their angry feelings to their muscles, which they must now keep in a constant semicontractual state lest any anger break out and show. Some of these people actually look very tight. I know one man whose jaws al-

tors. Those that finally come into treatment demonstrate a remarkable memory for every seeming injustice committed against them over a lifetime. Most come into treatment when leakage starts taking place after years and years of saving. An inability to continue to deny anger is felt as terrifying indeed and produces enormous anxiety and depression since it threatens to destroy the entire savings account and the martyred image along with it. Some do not suffer an acute or sudden leak. They manage to save up their anger for twenty years and then slowly leak it out for the next twenty years. When this slow, chronic leakage takes place, it nearly always stems from injustices committed (against the martyred saver) in the past. Savers don't dare deal with present events. This might start an avalanche and a complete flood and inundation. Leakage of the past can bring some relief while the martyred, nonangry, sweet image is still maintained. I remember one woman who sweetly talked about wrongs committed by her husband in the past and how "I always took them" but who invariably managed to end the treatment hour convinced of the sweetness of their relationship—now. Of course she never really had let him know how she felt. Consequently there were many false elements to their relationship—little phony acts, and so that dam it up. Victims of these exaggerations or accumulations may transfer a lifelong rage at their mothers to their wives or husbands. Others may become terribly bitter and cynical and spend a lifetime splattering everyone and everything with a loosened fund of old slush. Still others turn their anger from its actual and appropriate direction to themselves and become full of selfhate and suffer serious depression. Some with extraordinary irrational belief splash the slush bank onto others to the point of delusion, fear, and paranoid ideas ("Others want to kill m e " ) . Of course, there are different degrees of putting it on as well as different degrees of inappropriateness. At times the victim will direct his selfhate to other people. At other times he will swear that other people hate him, here again projecting his self-hate. If the degree of selfhate and distortion is great enough, he may suffer from paranoid delusions—feeling that other people want to hurt or kill him. Most cases are not this severe but are still very destructive. In any case, the main intent, conscious or unconscious, is to shift anger to the least threatening person, thing, event, or situation. (Thus a man dissatisfied with his job may chronically find fault with the w a y his wife keeps their home.) This is an attempt to maintain his working ability. Of course failure always stalks on-Introduction This book is about a basic human emotion— anger. Too often anger is not seen as basic or human. Anger is easily the most maligned and perverted of feelings and responses. Although there is an enormous range of "angry problems," nearly all people have some difficulty handling anger. The price paid for the distortion of a basic emotion is incalculable. Poor mental health, poor physical health, damage to relationships—especially to parent-child relationships—and even that most malignant of human diseases—war—are the wages of distorted anger. Therefore it behooves us to understand and to work through our feelings about anger. As you read, you will see that insight into these feelings can free and make available many other feelings, talents, and potentials. A healthier angry outlook must lead to greater health, to improved parentchild relating, to a fuller life, and to success and happiness. Indeed, it can even be lifesaving. T. I. R. denying. Since she herself uses guilt as a weapon, she is not about to use it on herself. Besides, the idea of hostility would destroy her image of perfect and ever-devoted motherhood. But even in her protest she is still consistently manipulative and hostile and still attempting to engender guilt. "Your mother who only lives for you" is an extremely hostile statement. In effect it says, "I give my life for you, therefore you owe me yours. Nothing you do for me is enough. You are in debt to me and can never pay off that debt. Remember, your own life is not your sole responsibility. You have to worry about mine also."

Savers are the victims of long-term poison. They are special "don't-make-wavers" who spend a lifetime twisting perverted anger into a cancerous, poisonous smoke screen. These are the (unconscious and sometimes not-so-unconscious) keepers of permanent gripe lists. T h e y often operate on a supersweet-talk basis, too. In any case, their relationship with people remains an essentially dishonest one. Most savers see themselves, not as enormous gatherers of anger, but rather as beleaguered, misunderstood, "understanding" martyrs. On the basis of this martyrdom, they feel they deserve all kinds of special consideration and undying love. W h e n these aren't forthcoming they feel they have been unjustly treated—and they get angry, turn it off, save it, and feel even more martyred. They are the great injustice collec- His old feud with George Warleggan still flares – as does the illicit love between Morwenna and Drake, Demelza's brother. This is a particular kind of poison that at one and the same time is used in a combined attempt to discharge venom, disarm the victim, and manipulate him. The poison manipulators never admit to themselves or anyone else that any of these things are true. They will look upon the recipient of their venom as absolutely crazy if he so much as mentions the possibility that hostility is being directed toward him. A poison manipulator is usually a genius at timing and wording. She or he also usually has the added benefit of years of experience and generally knows the victim extremely well. Very commonly the manipulator is the victim's mother. Her hostile manipulations have been going on as part of a long continuum. L e t me give you a typical example. A young man is about to go with his sweet- Twisting It: The Assorted Poisons 133 and to reassure herself that I still liked her. This was a projection of her own self-rejection as an "angry person." It took many months before she could accept her anger—let alone its expression through other than multiple devious routes.Freezing it is the total perversion. It combines the perversions I've already described with its own peculiar refinements. We can say that if there was an accurate w a y (and there isn't) to measure the degree of perverting anger, we would then know the degree of freezing it. T h e various preversions are not mutually exclusive. W e — a l l of us—combine putting it off, and putting it down, and so on. Some of us use one perversion more than another. Those of us with great angry problems will undoubtedly make much use of all the perversions. Our healthier confreres will pervert anger to a lesser degree. The particular combination of perversions (or the particular perversion we use most) will depend on our total personal histories and character structures. Of course, consciousness and unconsciousness regarding our difficulties with anger and our perverting of anger will also be Perversions This part of The Angry Book describes the allimportant ways in which we pervert the normal, natural free feel and flow of anger. These are the principal methods we use to contribute to the slush fund of perverted emotions. Perverted anger provides a reservoir of emotional slush that poisons one's system and leads to all kinds of emotional infections. 9